operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via thehatter-ismad)

436,865 notes

cherryredcuttlefish:

I’d love to punch you right now but the prime directive clearly states that primitive species should not be interfered with until they reach a certain level of maturity in their evolutionary tree.

(Source: gentlemako, via sassiest-assbutt-in-the-garrison)

92,107 notes

supernaturallybenedicted:

trogdorthe-burninator:

joleredon:

myghela:

The book:

image

The movie:

image

The Fan fictions
image

The fans

image

image

my life seems to depend on this post 

(Source: proudredwarrior, via thehatter-ismad)

771,886 notes
http://kierenwalker-and-simonmonroe.tumblr.com/post/60192549731/mischiefqueen21-mynameiskatzi

mischiefqueen21:

mynameiskatzi:

dftba-winchesters:

stumpology:

tries to spell word

cannot spell word

uses different word

Rearranges entire fucking sentence so I dont have to use that word

Then has to rethink and rewrite whole paragraph because the rearranged sentence…

(Source: tricycl)

352,885 notes
60,552 notes

quezsam:

wirelessinfidelity:

apatheticghost:

boys are so lucky they have boners to tell them that theyre horny because girls are just like am i horny or am i hungry or am i bored i dont know i dont have a dick

That’s definitely an interesting take. But sometimes we get boners for no reason and it’s something like “What is it boy? Did you see something?”

Tumblr is the only fucking place where boys and girls are free and comfortable to have this kind of conversations between them.

(via straightoffmyhead)

423,345 notes
At Jared's Autograph Session
  • Me: ...I named my dog Moose.
  • Jared: *chuckles*
  • Me:
  • Jared: Big dog?
  • Me: Chihuahua.
  • Jared: *chokes on food*
45,162 notes